Happy 2025! It is a new year! And, likely, a time of reflection and goal setting. You are likely considering changes you want to make in the coming year such as losing weight, taking a family trip, making more money, or stopping a habit like biting your nails. It is an exciting time when we start something new and make positive changes in our lives. And, I hope that you meet your goals and even go beyond them.
Yes, often New Year’s resolutions can carry a lot of pressure for many people, as they involve setting specific high expectations for change or improvement in the upcoming year. As you know, people can set goals that they never meet. This leads to discouragement and difficulty moving forward. But, knowing the pressures and addressing those in advance helps you find success.
Here are some of the main pressures that people may feel regarding New Year’s resolutions:
- Unrealistic Goals: Many resolutions involve overly ambitious goals, such as losing a significant amount of weight, quitting a bad habit cold turkey, or achieving something big in a short period of time. This can create unnecessary pressure if the goals are not achievable or sustainable.
- Expectations: Sometimes the pressure to make resolutions comes from family, friends, or a sense of expectation to do so. There is often an expectation that New Year’s is a time to make changes, whether it’s for personal growth or fitting into certain standards, and this can add stress.
- Fear of Failure: When people don’t meet their resolutions, they may feel like they have failed, leading to feelings of guilt, disappointment, or even discouragement. This fear can prevent individuals from setting resolutions at all, or from pursuing them fully.
- Comparison: Social media can amplify the pressure around New Year’s resolutions, as people often share their goals and progress online. This can lead to unhealthy comparisons, making some feel like they should be achieving more or living up to certain standards.
- Focus on Perfection: People often approach New Year’s resolutions with a mindset of perfection and wanting to start the year with everything in order, rather than making gradual improvements. This all-or-nothing mentality can lead to burnout or frustration.
- Time Constraints: The idea of starting fresh at the beginning of the year can feel overwhelming because it comes with the assumption that you should accomplish something significant in a short period of time. This can feel rushed and elicit anxiety, especially if personal, work, or other life pressures make it hard to focus.
- Overemphasis on “Self-Improvement”: There’s often a heavy emphasis on “fixing” things or becoming a “better” version of oneself. This can contribute to feelings of inadequacy or self-criticism if goals aren’t reached.
Setting lofty goals can feel empowering, but when progress stalls or results fall short, feelings of failure often arise. These feelings can stem from not meeting certain expectations, leading to self-doubt and frustration. But there are ways to still set goals and achieve them, without causing oneself additional stress.
How to Manage the Pressure:
- Set Realistic Goals: Break down larger goals into smaller steps that are more attainable. Create a timeline for each of your smaller goals and celebrate the wins, no matter how small. Tell a friend about your goal as research shows this to improve the possibility of accomplishing that goal.
- Be Kind to Yourself: Understand that setbacks can happen and that progress can be slow. Treat yourself with patience and give yourself grace. Remember, we learn from our mistakes. When you do not meet your goals, allow it to be an opportunity to pivot and change, rather than pull back. You might create a new way to do something that is better than before.
- Focus on Consistency: Rather than expecting instant results, focus on building small and improved habits over a period of time. Small steps take you forward. Speaking of steps, a friend of mine set a goal to run a mile a day for a year. Even though she could probably run further than that, she decided one mile got her in the habit of running without having too high of a goal, such as running 20 miles a week. Consistency creates healthy habits.
- Avoid Social Comparisons: Focus on your own journey rather than comparing yourself to others. Do what you need rather than what others tell you to do. Do what you can to create healthy boundaries such as not spending time with people who discourage your goals or those who vocalize comparison language. If needed, reframe from social media or alternate media outlets that discourage you in your goals.
- Adjust Resolutions to Fit Your Needs: Choose goals that are meaningful to you, not just what is expected by society or others. If the goal is not working for you, you can change it or stop it all together. Focus on your health and well-being rather than your goal itself.
The gap between ambition and reality can feel overwhelming, making you question your capabilities or self-worth. However, failure isn’t the end but a natural part of growth. It offers valuable lessons and opportunities to adjust goals, work on strategies, and to build resilience. Acknowledging setbacks without self-judgment helps shift focus from disappointment to determination, and can foster a healthier mindset for future resolutions.
Sometimes the content of a blog is a lot easier said than done. Not sure where to get started? The clinicians at Waters Edge Counseling can help! Give us a call at 912-319-5552 and we would be happy to set you up with a counselor who can meet your unique needs and availability.